FROM GOOD OLE UNCLE VIC

May 2008

    The first of May, hooray, hooray, now we can party outside! Let's hope it warms up a bit so we can do that, agreed?

    The answer to last month's trivia quiz: What state had the most schools in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament? California with 7. Those that got it right were: ------. Maryland had 3 and The University of Maryland wasn't one of them. Mount Saint Mary's, UMBC and Coppin State!

    This month's trivia question: What percentage of the world's GNP (Gross National Product) does the United States produce? Turn your answers in to Jami via e-mail at Jami.Minona@BrickBodies.com.

    A few months ago I wrote about our trip to the World Famous Pike Place Fish Market. You remember. This is the fish market in Seattle where they throw the fish and really make buying fish an experience. They live by the four principals of being present, making people's day, having fun and make work play. Lynne, Vicki, Jon and I visited the World Famous Pike Place Fish Market when we went out to see Jon play basketball against Washington State (Jon plays for the Citadel). While there we bought a lot of copies of two books to share with our staff, one written by the owner and one written by the staff. (To view pictures of our visit to The World Famous Pike Place Fish Market, CLICK HERE.)

    I read When Fish Fly, written by the owner, John Yokoyama, on the plane home. However, it wasn't until later that I read Catch, written by the fish mongers themselves. Quite frankly, this book affected me more than the owner's book. Here were young, ordinary people realizing they could positively affect other people's lives. They realized that it really wasn't so much what happened to them as it was how they reacted to it.

    The main thing I got out of Catch is that most issues, hang-ups, problems and disappointments really originate with you, as opposed to someone or something else. It really is not the incident or circumstances so much as how you react to it. The expression they used in the book is that "It's really not over there. It's over here." In other words, it's not what happens outside of you but what happens inside of you that counts; you're thoughts, your attitude, and your reactions. It isn't over there. It's over here!

    I have really been trying to adopt that attitude as my new outlook on life. It really is about me, not about someone else. If someone is driving slowly in front of me, I can get impatient with them or I can keep my cool and say to myself, "It isn't them that makes me upset, it is myself". And then I can control my emotions. If someone at works disagrees with me, I try to think "It isn't that person that frustrates me. I can choose to be frustrated or I can choose to be understanding." If Lynne is late getting ready for a social event, I now realize it isn't Lynne that makes me irritated, I make myself irritated. "It isn't over there. It's over here!"

    It is amazing how cathartic this perspective can be. Suddenly you realize that you are in complete control of situations and the way you react is completely up to you, not the other person or the circumstances. You become more patient. You become more understanding. You become more fun to be around. You become "a kinder and gentler soul".

    Who me? Kinder and gentler? I know, I know. Hard to believe I can become any kinder and gentler, right? (What is that sound I hear? Belly-laughter?) But it's true. Ask Glenn. Ask Vicki. Ask Lynne. Come to our staff meetings. Ask the guy who cut me off in traffic the other day. Ask the operations manager that opened BBP late not once, not twice but THREE mornings in a row recently. (We won't mention any names). Ask the person that was rude to me at dinner the other night. Ask the member that complained about something that had already been fixed. Ask the person in the meeting the other day who didn't hear what I said and asked what the old Victor Brick would have thought was a stupid question. It is only a stupid question if I think it is one! It isn't a stupid question to the person that asked it. It isn't over there! It's over here!

    I can tell you it isn't easy. I have not perfected this "It's not over there, it's over here" thing. Ask Glenn. Ask Vicki. Ask Lynne. Ask the other guy who cut me off in traffic! Ask—well you get the picture. You can't just turn personalities on and off like a light switch. It takes a lot of time and energy. And even then, just like your golf game, you will revert to old habits under stress. But at least I am trying. And you know something? I don't only think I am more fun to be around. I know I am happier too. It really is enjoyable to have more control of your emotions. It really is better to realize that you are not a victim but are that you have choices. And I choose to take control of my attitude. I choose to accept the fact that "It isn't over there. It's over here!".

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY