FROM GOOD OLE UNCLE VIC

August 2006

   Hello everyone, how are you? Hot enough for you? You think it is hot here. Lynne and I just got back from the IDEA Fitness convention in Vegas. It got up to 110 degrees out there! You know what they say. Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun. So which one was I? A mad dog or an Englishman? Actually that is what the Indians (from India) said about the English as they were conquering India. The native Indians would not go out in the heat of the day, but the English would.

   The answer to last month's quiz, what year did the Revolutionary War end and what treaty ended the war? It ended in 1783 with the Treaty of Paris. Those that got it right were: Jacqueline Fields, Jen Pudelko, Susan Townsend, Yoly Teuber, Abe Arceo, John Fiege, Paula George, Julie Schmidt, Sarah Higgins, Amber Murdock, Kathy Boehk, Tony Shucosky, Katherine Haley, Rebecca Hartnett, Darlene Cuomo, Neal Dongre and Emily Loraine.

   This month's trivia quiz, speaking of Vegas, how did the term blackjack come to mean 21 in the card game, Blackjack?

   Lynne and I actually went to two conventions in Vegas. The first was the IDEA Mind/Body convention and the second was the more traditional IDEA International Fitness Convention. The Mind/Body convention was the first of its kind. It was held at the Hyatt Regency Spa and Resort outside of Vegas. The Fitness Convention was held at the Hilton Convention Center. One of the new professional growth areas in fitness is life coaching. It is no longer enough just to be a personal trainer and address a client's fitness needs. Now people are becoming life coaches and basically helping clients live healthier, happier more productive lives. Kind of like a combination personal trainer, psychiatrist, time management consultant and mentor all rolled into one.

   While there are many people that benefit from the services of a life coach, the concepts that life coaches employ are really nothing more than old wine in new bottles. Access the client, find out the unwanted condition, find the source of the unwanted condition, develop a plan to address the source, not the symptoms. Provide emotional support. Focus on the positive. Many life coaches deal almost exclusively over the phone with the client after the initial assessment. Just having someone to talk to is very therapeutic.

   The emergence of life coaches is another classic example of the fact that all people really want is to be acknowledged and reassured. The life coach acknowledges the unwanted condition of the client and then continually reassures the client that he or she is on the right path to address that condition.

   While the acknowledgement is important, perhaps the more critical component is the reassurance. And this is true in everything. Positive feedback and praise cannot be overemphasized. There is a new teaching philosophy that advocates employing nothing but positive feedback when teaching anything from an academic subject to a musical instrument to a sport. While this sounds easy, try it sometime. We may think we employ positive feedback but the traditional way to teach or coach is to correct the mistakes. For instance, if someone is taking a golf lesson, the tendency of the pro is to comment on the strokes done improperly in an effort to correct them. The same is true when taking a music lesson or trying to learn a foreign language.

   Studies have shown that your mind will focus on whatever thought is put into it, whether it is positive or negative. So if someone points out a mistake you are making, even if they tell you how to correct the mistake, your mind will focus on the mistake and chances are you will do it again. Many athletes know this and play head games with their opponents in high pressure situations. A common gamesmanship ploy for a basketball player is to walk up to an opposing player about to take a big foul shot and whisper "don't be short". Of course, the opposing player often misses the shot short. Now, I have never done that, mind you, but I have heard that other scoundrels do!

   Many people, like myself, are old school. We were brought up in an era where a coach or parent didn't tell you that you did something well unless it was really special. While I had a lot of success coaching young kids, especially in basketball, my biggest regret is that I did not praise them enough. I was quick to point out a mistake, not always in a negative way, but often in an effort to teach and coach. Unfortunately I was not as quick to give a word of praise. The plain fact of the matter is I should have used nothing but praise.

   There is an art to using praise when a client, student or player is not performing the task correctly. For instance, when an athlete is not performing a tennis stroke correctly you should only make comments when he performs the stroke correctly, not when he makes a mistake. It takes a real effort but everything, and I mean everything, can be stated in a positive way.

   This technique can be used in raising kids, building confidence in family members and friends, teaching co-workers and just about any other interpersonal relationship you can think of.

   It's not too late for me to try this technique out. I can certainly employ it at home and at work. I even intend to get back into coaching again, as I am an empty nester and suddenly have more time on my hands. I am sure I will be a kinder and gentler coach. Hey, anyone out there have a 6' 8" kid they want me to coach?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY