April Good Ole’ Uncle Vic

April 1, 2011 By: Victor Brick

Happy spring, everyone! Doesn’t really feel like it yet, does it. But the warm weather is just around the corner.

The answer to last month’s trivia question, how many presidents have been assassinated and who were they? The Answer? Four. Lincoln, McKinley, Garfield and Kennedy.

This month’s trivia question:  Which conference has the most NCAA men’s basketball championships and how many?

Well, it’s April 1^st, April Fools Day; one of my favorite days of the year. Here is what I did this year:

1. I told all my health club managers and sales staff to call a friend of mine that wanted to join and I gave them the number. The number, of course, was for Dial-A-Prayer.
2. Late last night I put a sign on the entrance door of our corporate office with the Baltimore County Seal on it. The sign said that the smell of gas had been reported to the County and that no one was to enter the building until it had been inspected. So I had my staff waiting outside in the cold when they arrived in the morning until someone figured out the sign was bogus.
3. The coup de grace was how I got Lynne, of course. Two days ago Lynne made the mistake of telling me our new puppy, Sheba (short for Bathsheba) had had a little accident with diahria in her crate. That sparked the idea in my warped, twisted mind of putting some mud in her crate early in the morning so when Lynne got up today to let her out she would think she popped in her crate again. I know. I know. Very, very sick. But I got her! As I pretended to lie in bed asleep I heard her cry out “Oh my gosh!” (or something to that effect which cannot appear in print) and open the doors to the sunroom where we keep the crate to get rid of “the smell”. Not quite as good as how I got her last year (see April 2010’s Uncle Vic in the archives) but pretty darn good, nonetheless.

So, what is the moral of all this stuff? Well, of course, just like last year, the first moral is always keep your sense of humor. But, beyond that, the moral is always keep  on your toes. It is amazing how I get my staff with Dial-A-Prayer every year. It is also  amazing how I get the office staff with something every year. And, most astonishingly, it is amazing how I get Lynne every year. Every year.

The funny thing is, every year after I have played some kind of joke on them they say they are going to get me back. And they say how they are never going to fall for another trick again. And then they do. All except Glenn Norris, who  is on to my tricks, and Mark Johnson, who e-mailed me yesterday and said I would not get him this year. Of course, these two guys have way too much time on their hands if they remember stuff like this. Just like I do!!!

So remember, expect the unexpected at all times. You never know when some sicko is going pull some bush-league trick on you. And, if you are the one pulling the bush-league tricks, keep milking them as long as you can because most people get so caught up in the day to day that you can sneak right up on them with the same dumb trick, over and over and over again.

Thought For The Day: The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man doth knoweth that he is a fool!